Shame & Freedom
Shame… Or taking down the walls, to allow YOU to be a Child of God!
Building trust in the MOST HIGH GOD. Learning Who the true God IS
and who you ARE in His eyes! IDENTITY!! The only one that matters…
except, YOU need to get healed of the wounds of SHAME, that
keep you wanting humans to love you,accept you, and validate you…
That allows you to blame others, yourself, and God.. but won’t take
responsibility for your actions.
You can be satisfied with HIM! Him alone. It is so much freedom to be
grown up, not dependant on Humans, who are as broken as you.
Waiting for them to tell you what they are waiting for you to tell them.
Who can tell you this… except the PERFECT ONE! The one who can
Judge with LOVE and FORGIVENESS…. The ONE who ADORES YOU!
But …. you will have to believe the UNSEEN over the SEEN.
The fruit of this process: Freedom from the impossible! Shame says
it is impossible. Freedom to allow WHO you are to live and express
freely. Instead of the bondage of WHAT you did….ruling you in fear
Freedom of the debt to yourself, others, and God. To give you more
Grace than you have ever known… for yourself… but more importantly,
you will wear Grace instead of shame. Much more attractive.
My desire is to have the Bride of Christ dressed as beautifully as
possible, for the Bridegroom is coming! My desire is to see the BRIDE,
those who are called out from this world and it’s value system, embrace
WHO they are because of WHO He IS!
1Shame is a study that everyone needs, but is difficult to teach or
receive. It could be called a FREEDOM study.
Shame wants to hide, so who wants to come be exposed?
Those who are sick and tired of SHAME.
Symptoms of SHAME..Study so can separate you from it, to see how it
is worn by your family and friends, to begin to know the enemy of your
soul. You can help take it off them… you can stop putting it on them…
but the best is for them to take it off themselves.
1) Blushing 4) Slumped posture
2) Confusion of your mind 5) Lowering of your head
3) Downcast eyes 6) Embarrassment
( red face is intense shame)
Sense of Shame:
You have regrets. Consciousness of shame.
Some of us are not aware of our shame.
Experience of Shame:
Embarrassing ,Dishonoring, Disgrace ( Incidents that don’t give
yourself Grace for being who you are at that time…expecting
too much from you), Inadequacy, Humiliation, Chagrin (Mental
unease, distress,annoyance or embarrassment caused by failure or
When talking about Shame in you or others, know that there are two
experiences with Shame at the same time, in the same person.
One is the wounded child in you, who has been truly shamed by someone
or yourself… and that created a lie about you, based on you believing
the Shame. You need healing… You need Truth of His Love. You need
you to love and accept you…without Shame.. You need to receive His
2Love and Acceptance.
The second experience with Shame that is coexisting with the Child
in you, is the Adult you, that re-shames yourself and uses Shame as
an excuse to not grow or mature. The Self that you are glorifying…
because you are taking the easier path of least resistance.. Being
human. It takes supernatural power to defeat this desire in you to
glorify self. To avoid being exposed and naked… It takes humility.
I capitalise the words that are BEINGS to me. Shame has a presence…
so does Acceptance and Love.. Lies and Truth… they have so much
power… to bind or to free… Belief in them , bad or good, gives them
the authority in your life. You choose.
Here are the other Beings that you use and use you, once Shame comes
to rule your heart and mind.. Usually, we are not walking in Shame all
the time. It rules out of the wound.. As we get triggered with similar
comments or circumstances as the original wound, we will react in
Shame and it will rule us.. we will feel young and small. It only rules a
small percentage of our hearts and mind.
Your enemies… Shame’s friends
Pride- Covers shame
Self Righteousness- Tries to make you redeem yourself from Shame or
Shames others to cover your own Shame
Disgrace- attempts to make you powerless ( without Grace) Feels like
you are a slave…
Dishonor- attempts to make you reject or not believe your God given
Honor.. it feels like you can not be an adult…
Humiliation- gives power to others to determine your value..it is the
opposite of self imposed humility. It can be brought about through
bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or
by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially
or legally unacceptable act.
Anger… Covers shame… or if you choose to mature , it can be used to
help you discover Shame and eliminate your negative Self image… to
a Loved by God Self… no anger needed… Anger blames others for the
Shame and believes they have the CURE to the pain and won’t give it to
you, they can give you value and choose not to…. Your worth depends on
others and their moods, energy, understanding of you, love. You believe
they have the power to validate you when they can not give value
because they don’t have any value to give you, they are not responsible
for your value.. they can only give from God and receive from God and
He is the only one who has value.
Hate… Full blown anger, blame… giving power to others when it belongs
to God. Believing you are entitled because your wound needs to be
healed. SOMEONE must be responsible and must have the cure… YOU
and GOD are the only ones. You will have freedom from holding others
responsible when you empower yourself to partner with God to treat
your wounds. LOVE– for you and for others!
Envy, Jealousy, Covetousness, Comparing self to others, Performance,
Perfectionism, Self mutilation, Self Destruct, Addictions, Driven,
Workaholic, Wild stunts, trying any way to find value and worth,
attention. Hopelessness, Judgement, Lazy, Lethargic, Isolation,Running
or Fighting…flight or fight. Half- hearted. Discouragement,
Disillusionment, Unworthy, Unclean, Reproach, Discredit, Doubt…
I could go on and on and on… It is all the fruit of SHAME..
Shame is a fight for Identity.
Who did someone or yourself say you ARE? We are waiting for that to
get fixed, erased, appeased. It won’t be.. SHAME is always hungry. It
is SELF driven. It is obsessed. In it, Self is crying out for acceptance
while you are rejecting yourself.
Who does He say you ARE? Usually, we can not even hear or believe
Him until we are healed. We can quote the scriptures, but our hearts
tell us otherwise.
You spend your life relying on someone to say, “ You ARE ….. “
It is a temporary solution. You feel good for the day, until the Shame
gets triggered from the past wound.. then you are on the hunt for
the “person” who is suppose to validate you again. Usually, we are
putting this high expectation on the ones closest to us. The ones we
love. We marry them to give us value and worth… Our children become
responsible for our value, our siblings, our parents, our friends, our
church family, our co-workers, clients, customers, or boss. Everyone
can feel the NEED! No one can meet it, with lasting effect.
No one can read your mind, say the perfect thing, or respond correctly
or often enough!
The problem is , the other people are also looking for the same thing,
so if they are in Shame too, they will feel even more stress from
your NEED. They may let you down and thus Shame you more, and
themselves.. Relationships, jobs, ministry, and worship of GOD are all
Shame says WHO you are…. can’t be fixed. Shame is helplessly
Damned, in a perpetual state of NON redemption.
Let’s look at Peter and Judas.
Both lied, Both deceived. Both want power and value. Both wanted to
appear strong and in charge.. Both wanted to be important.
Judas refused the humility of the cross.. He could not believe he was
redeemable. He decided his own fate. He hung himself.
Peter denied him more than one time. He failed over and over.
He choose to believe the Love of God and His forgiveness for the
mistakes he made. God gave him a new name… Because SHAME makes
you stuck in your past… A new name gave Peter freedom.. to remind
Peter that he became one who would give his life for HIM instead of
deny Him. He chose to see Life and Freedom in surrender, exchanging
the spirit of heaviness.
for a new garment of praise…
You have a new name… You are His BELOVED.
The Child in you is a true victim. The “Adult” you, is choosing to be
a victim of Shame versus receiving the redemption of the Cross. It
makes the Cross of no worth. No truth. But it is a natural response to
believe the lie because we live in a GODless society. It is a demonic
influence through your wounded Child.. Heal the childhood wound and
free the child from the lie. Be able to believe the LOVE for you and be
able to CHANGE your MIND!
Hear the heart of God for you and be healed. Once you are healed, you
will believe the Cross. The problem with helping ourselves and others
with this problem, is that we have been trying to change our minds,
(repent) without the healing ,first. Scientifically, emotions control
our minds. We would like to believe we are stronger than that… but it
doesn’t work. We are in bondage to our feelings. We need them to align
with God’s heart for us.
This is a good time to ask Jesus to show you a memory of SHAME.
Usually 2-5 years, but you can look at older years if you get one…
The Holy Spirit will show you. He will show you the SHAMING.
Now grieve it completely. Allow for the wrongness and the hurt to be
felt. When you are done, allow your self a minute to breath…life.
Now parent yourself.. Be the correct Dad or Brother or Friend… that
you needed in that moment. What would you teach yourself?
What would say… try to comfort yourself… because you really are only
a little kid… or you would not feel it so deeply…
Now breathe again…
Ask Jesus to come be part of it… What would He do for you…, say to
you. As you get healthier, you will be able to receive more and more of
His love in the memory.. so you may relive it again later. Because you
are not healthy enough yet, to fully know how much He wants to love
you and give to you. To hold you and to comfort you. He is better than
any human you will ever meet and says just the right thing. He knows
you best. He may show you what you need to ask forgiveness for, as
sometimes there is a valid mistake made. He will teach you the healthy
way to be responsible for your mistakes…and you get more comfort..
FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM
Now feel your strength… your core being is stronger.
GUILT is what you did. Your action, that needs Humility, can be
forgiven for doing it, brings reconciliation. Restores relationship. It is
not WHO you are. You can not add to the Righteousness of Christ or
the Cross. You can make yourself stronger by doing the right thing…
just in Character. NOT in HOLINESS!
Guilt is there to give you conviction. Shame is to bring Condemnation.
Guilt empowers you to be humble and to ask for help. Shame lets you
stay in control, Gives you an excuse to not change or grow up.
Remember FIGHT or FLIGHT.
We will fight to stay away from the pain of Shame… So we add to our
SHAME. We become the Bully. The one who makes sure no one ever
puts SHAME back on us again. We blame them before they blame us.
We prove we are right. We make sure we win. We PROTECT PROTECT
PROTECT our shattered value.
When we deny our SHAME, it will resurface with more pain. We are
ashamed of SHAME.
Some feelings we have when we are in SHAME:
Afraid we will be unloveable, not wanted, not kept, left, abandoned, not
good enough, smart enough, pure enough…NOT redeemable… damned.
Rage toward perceived or real rejection… any form of SHAME.
Fighting for worth, Demanding worth, causing more rejection, people
pushing you away as you demand from them what they can not give,
causing them to fight feelings of failures, insecurities, and more
SHAME on them.
If it is your children or people you are leading, they had hope you would
take their shame away and give them value. Now they are disappointed,
as well as angry that you are blaming them.
We need to teach those we lead, Jesus will take away your SHAME. He
is the healer of your soul. He loves you with an everlasting LOVE that
Most rejection and Shame is from within us when we are older… AN
adult should not be affected by SHAME from someone else. IF you
are , you need healing.. So if someone can SHAME you, you are not
healed. You and you alone are in charge of believing your value and
worth. Only a child who is learning from parents at a young age depends
on others to affirm them. They can not give you anything. You are
worshipping others… who are like you. So your worship has to go to
Someone higher, better, holy, unconditionally loving…. GOD…Whom you
worship , will be Whom you believe.
Terror of those who Shame you and the Shame you feel from it, is the
flight part. Fragmented, overwhelmed, despairing, Self debasement,
Self hatred.. isolation,belittled, made to feel small…,helpless,
8powerless, crying a lot, weak, insecure, inadequate, no dignity.
SHAME is the deepest inner turmoil and torment. It is a sickness of
our souls. The Humiliation one feels, the nakedness, the defeated, the
alienated, lacking worth paralyzes you to do anything about it.
Or makes you push people away for fear they will see it. Or makes you
run from them before they have to reject you.
Shame causes Shyness. It makes you feel Stupid, hurt, intimidated.
It intimidates, calls names, and hurts.. you can do it to others while
you are in the deepest SHAME. Listen to the voices in your head… self
talk. It is SHAME making sure if no one else will SHAME you, you will
What do I do to get out of SHAME?
Start recognizing it in your life.
Do you bite your nails, bite your lip, bite your tongue, blush, force
smiles, fidget, play with your hair, feel annoyance, defensiveness,
exaggerate your stories, live in denial, have a loss of words, feel a
blank mind, confused, can’t think? Do you blink your eyes or rub them
around people that don’t feel safe? Who do they remind you of?
Is the subject of the conversation the problem… do you feel
inadequate? Afraid? Of what?
Can you hear inner critical thinking? Judgement against you? Do you
think others are judging you?
Do you hear the voices of others, Teachers, Parents, Peers, Relatives?
Try to say out loud what you are hearing.
Separate You from IT.
Have you been told you are :
Or have you told yourself that?
DO you feel odd, peculiar, bizarre, different, flawed, inferior,
uncertain,uneffectual, exposed? Everyone is SHAMED in different
ways. Not all of these apply… or maybe they do.
How are you coping right now?
DO you move around it? Mask it? Resign yourself to it, give up? That
often brings the anger, guilt, hate, violence.
Do you repress it? Hide all your emotions so you don’t have to face
SHAME. Lock it up with all the good and bad feelings.
If you start by calling out the SHAME. It will start relieving you.
Others will draw closer and give you compassion.
The difference between Guilt and SHAME is that SHAME focuses
on what it does to YOU. Guilt focuses on what you do to others. You
will feel more compassion and you will bridge the disconnect that has
happened to you all your life. Your spouse and kids will be running to
you for relationship. You are going to be full of GRACE.
Humbly accepting your part, asking for forgiveness, and being able to
have compassion for the pain you caused them. It will teach the way of
LOVE. SHAME teaches that you are the center of attention.
BUT there is some valid pain, valid fears, that need addressing.
Practice calling out your imperfections… not as self rejections, but as
an acceptance of weakness, as being acceptable to you and others.
Practice admitting you have flaws, you feel overwhelmed, not capable,
can’t do it all, won’t be good enough, are afraid, etc. You say it with love
for yourself believe you will be accepted.
Do you expect too much of yourself or others? SHAME does this… and
has done it to you! Shame says you never measure up.
10Put up the thoughts GOD has toward you… The thoughts you should
have toward you and yours. Post them around your home. Practice
saying them to each other..
Dare to stop the voices of SHAME in your home..
Never GOOD enough! STUPID! Who do you think you are? What were
you THINKING! You IDIOT!
DO you know what you just did?
Healthy Shame: Brings repentance, reconciliation, Redemption,
humility, intimacy, acceptance. Guilt is healthy if it leads to these
thoughts. It says I am sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. What can I do
Is there anything you need?
Guilt says: SORRY, I made a mistake.
SHAME says: Sorry, I am a mistake.
SHAME affects both Male and Female.
Male’s SHAME is : I don’t want to appear weak, less than perfect.
Female’s SHAME is: I can do it all, perfect, and you won’t see me
Where is the source?
Some authority was never happy with you.
Society would not accept you.
Manners can be a big source of shame.
Accidents, mistakes, hygiene.
Type of discipline in the home.
Did it focus on who you are (BAD BOY, brat, spoiled, sassy,baby,
silly,lazy, toughen up, cry baby?
Did it focus on something you could stop doing, or was it on Who you
had to stop being…?
Were you compared to…so and so is better than you?
No one else has your problems…
11Everyone thinks you are a …..
You feel you are bad, wrong,Needy, Feeling ashamed.
Did you feel your parents SHAME on them, projecting on you?
Were they overwhelmed , frustrated, irritated, afraid, not good
enough, inadequate and blaming you?
Did they indirectly or directly communicate?
Begin to listen for indirect communication in your home, it is rooted in
SHAME. It doesn’t make you vulnerable. It takes no risk. It keeps you
safe but puts the other person in responsibility for you.
Example: “ What are we going to do today?” Instead of ,
“Do you have any plans for today? I am bored and hoped we would do
something. If you don’t have any plans, could we work on something
Example: “ Where are my keys? I put them on the counter and they are
gone!” ( Blame, Shame they lost them, fear, hearing a voice…. “you lose
everything! YOU are so unorganized…”) Better done. ” Honey, I can’t
find my keys. I feel concern when I think they have been moved or
lost. Would you help me find them? “
SHAME starts about 2 years old. When we can comprehend what is
being said… although it can start with feelings earlier.
Your primary caregivers begin to teach you WHO you are…
Looks can say a thousand words.. Looks their parents gave them….
Disdain, contempt, disgust…angry, turning away… putting you in your
room for not being who they wanted you to be… SHAME to get you
to obey…SHAME is a result of parents lack of knowledge or love.. An
inability to teach or find the key to that child’s thinking.
It was and is a solution to some parents, teachers, military, etc to
12It turns some into nervous, anxious, people pleaser. Fearing judgement,
avoiding displeasure.. Trying to manage the leader’s SHAME.
The child who gives up becomes the ANGRY shamed one.
SHAME has a job. It is to rob you of your worth.
It makes you small. Makes you trivialized, unimportant, invisible, with
no voice, intimidated.
SHAME kills excitement, curiosity, the ability to do things by yourself.
SHAME stops self expression. Makes us emotional mute, or makes you
vent on others all your emotions without being responsible for them.
What emotions make you feel SHAME:
Laughter , Mockery, Crude humor
Feeling walked on by someone
Being yelled at…your name used with less than love in the tone.
IF you are too loud or someone else is too loud, even having fun
If you are too quiet
Vulnerability, feeling your emotions, Crying …Sadness…
pride / self pride
being made to wait
someone not driving right
wanting too much or more than someone else
others being dressed nicer, less clothing on or more clothing than you
Feeling like they get more than you or better than you, you have to
SHAME is to maintain a sense of restraint against offending others.
That would be using Self Control to protect a relationship rather
than work out that relationship. It would be allowing their weakness
13to control the relationship rather than honoring them. Deliberately
putting yourself in bondage to keep them in bondage. Fear of rejection
and SHAME wins.
Our decisions to receive SHAME gives power to others over us that
they should not have, nor do they often want. Love does not want
Love , Humility, Grace, Honor,Discover, Empower, Trust, Modesty, JOY!
Head held up… eyes make contact… voice is adult, solutions that are
win win… encouragement!
Shame has no outlet… like Sadness has crying and Anger has yelling.
SHAME leads to voices of disapproval and then fury or hostility.. BUT
no relief. SHAMING another just adds to your SHAME. Then you have
to JUSTIFY it .. COVER it with bullying, Superiority, domineering,
perfectionism, being Frustrated with everyone. It makes you want to
PUNISH others because you feel PUNISHED. Indirect Aggression
builds and you don’t even know why you want to hurt someone.
To quiet the SHAME it leads you to Addictions and then Addictions
lead you to more SHAME.
SHAME leads you to SELF… in a Selfish way. Self Conforming, Escaping
Disapproval, Seeking Rewards.
SHAME does not allow you to develop empathy for others. It never
shows you what you have done to others, or lets you feel their pain.
It keeps you preoccupied with your failure to please others, God, and
self. You stay depressed, moody, apathetic. You prefer to be alone,
playing video games that praise you and give you a sense of conquering
14If you have given up and turned angry then you live in bitterness and
resentment of all people who will not ACCEPT you , praise you, love you.
You can never get enough attention, validation, affirmation.
Good job! Thank you! All the praise words never fill the vacuum the
SHAME leaves in you. At the end of the day, it is still empty.
True Morality is Empathy. Respect for others. Respect for you.
Empathy for YOU! Empathy for them. Understanding for them… for
you. Teach healthy boundaries for yourself, as an act of freedom from
SHAME. Stop letting others SHAME you. Stop allowing you to SHAME
The Cure for SHAME is vulnerability. The Vulnerability that comes
from being SHAMED makes us run from being VULNERABLE. If
we have moved to the anger side of SHAME it masks it with Macho
behavior. Vulnerable in a good way and with good results, looks like
honest… truthful, kind, willing to be wrong when you are right. If you
lived in a survival home… this can not feel safe to you. You would rather
protect yourself. Finding safe people to be Vulnerable with can change
SHAME from the Task Master to the Servant of your life. SHAME can
serve you, to teach you kindness, forgiveness and empathy. SHAME can
teach you compassion. A need for others, and GOd….to expose yourself
to them…. A need to trust them….A need to let them see you naked.
For most of us, we are raised to believe Vulnerable people are weak.
They are the most powerful. The most courage. The most creative.
They have the most change and are innovative. They are using both
sides of their brains… they are wise.
Actions tell us what we believe. You can say you believe… but your
actions tell you the truth. You cultivate a belief. You can cultivate your
value or your lack of it. You can compete with your kids and spouse
15or you can complement them. You can rest in WHO you are , or keep
They say someone without SHAME ( in a negative way) SHAMELESS
… they have no restraint for others sake. They are arrogant. They
are excessive in the need to show and tell how good they are…. how
much SHAME they don’t have. They are OFFENSIVE… Where SHAME
creates DEFENSIVE. Healthy people rest… they don’t attack, or
defend. They enjoy. They enjoy themselves and others.
As SHAME grows and it can become NO SHAME… SHAMELESS. They
are above SHAME. They can and will do whatever they want.
If you are in SHAME you have more hope than those who have become
OFFENSIVE. Others deserve their abuse.. No one ever supported
them or believed in them. They never got what they needed… (They will
speak almost identical words… it is like SHAME talks through them.)
SHAME is the fear of DISCONNECTION. SEPARATION FROM
OTHERS AND GOD. It says “ There is something about me, that if you
knew about it (exposed) , You would not want me.”
We all have to let ourselves be seen. We have to trust in acceptance.
If you continue to allow SHAME to lie to you, you will live in the belief
that every time someone is exposed you think it is really about you…
everyone is pointing out your flaws. Most people are too busy trying to
work on themselves or seeing their own flaws.. in their own shame… to
look at you.
Try to believe you will be accepted.. even appreciated more because
your are honest.
You are loved, Belong, and have WORTH …Because HE died for you…
He says you do, and promises you a kingdom of kindness and love.
Now and later.
16The difference between those who stay in SHAME and those who get
out of it is : They WHOLEHEARTEDLY live and believe they are loved,
have unique value, and get their identity from God and not others.
SHAME loves secret, dark, hidden hearts.
FREEDOM is Compassion toward yourself… Authentic living, reality vs.
trumped up view of your self… tell others and yourself, who you are…
doesn’t fabricate. Loves you right now, not what you wish you were.
Healing will be two directions at once.
You will expose SHAME and work on learning the TRUTH.
You will pray through the Wounded memories of SHAME.
You will walk through the disciplines of life that God has taught you.
Ask forgiveness, forgive others, find the lies, speak the truth.
Vulnerability is to risk. Risk finding safe people. Risk trusting them.
Say I love you first.. Develop the comfort that comes from confidence
in HIS love, that keeps you from fear of rejection. Reach out to others
first… trust He has enough Value in you to handle rejection.
The INSECURITY from SHAME says:
You don’t have enough information
There is the fear of the unknown
You are not sure you are capable
you are self focused
You are judged
The Secure Child who does not listen to SHAME
Cares for others
knows her abilities and weaknesses and accepts them
not afraid of being loved
As you find out your relationship to your Heavenly Father,
it will be easier to believe you are loved.
He develops :
Your sense of belonging
worthy of love
you are enough
you are perfect in Christ
You are ok not have perfection as a human
You are not below others or above others
No one has the right to possess you or control you
He designed you. He thinks you are amazing and wonderful.
Don’t have a separate or internal value for yourself than what God has
already declared over you.
Don’t decide that you or others can judge you and determine your
Believing you are damaged, defective, unacceptable, your entire self is
not worth anything… you have suffered TRAUMA.
If you have a strong desire to HIDE. DIE, Disappear… you are being
harder on yourself than most anyone would be on you. You are judging
yourself when no one else is..
18Read Genesis Chapter 3:
3 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the
Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You
shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of
the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden,
God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God
knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be
like God, knowing good and evil.”
6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was
pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its
fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the
eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked;
and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool
of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the
Lord God among the trees of the garden.
9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I
was naked; and I hid myself.”
11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from
the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”
12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave
me of the tree, and I ate.”
13 And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:
“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”
16 To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
19Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife,
and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall
not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life.
18 Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
And you shall eat the herb of the field.
19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground,
For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”
20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all
21 Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed
22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to
know good and evil. And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the
tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— 23 therefore the Lord God sent him
out of the garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken. 24 So
He drove out the man; and He placed cherubim at the east of the garden of
Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the
tree of life.
First sin… then SHAME, then making covering for themselves with fig
leaves, then hiding
Atonement means to cover… We want to use our own atonement.
We don’t trust God.
What would have happened if they would have come to God and said we
are naked. We have disobeyed You. Do you have a covering for us?
He killed innocent animals and shed blood to make them a covering.
But He could not trust them and had them leave the garden. As mercy
for them.. if they ate the tree of life and lived for ever before they
would receive the atonement of the CROSS, it would have been eternal
damnation… because He always has a plan for us. He adores us.
20Is. 61 is a great chapter on Inner Healing.
“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”
4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
5 Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.
6 But you shall be named the priests of the Lord,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.
7 Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.
8 “For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery for burnt offering;
I will direct their work in truth,
And will make with them an everlasting covenant.
9 Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles,
And their offspring among the people.
All who see them shall acknowledge them,
That they are the posterity whom the Lord has blessed.”
10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
21He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before
all the nations.
Read Zechariah 3
Vision of the High Priest
3 Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the Angel of
the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to oppose him. 2 And the
Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord who has chosen
Jerusalem rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?”
3 Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and was standing before the
4 Then He answered and spoke to those who stood before Him,
saying, “Take away the filthy garments from him.” And to him He said, “See,
I have removed your iniquity from you, and I will clothe you with rich
5 And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.”
So they put a clean turban on his head, and they put the clothes on him.
And the Angel of the Lord stood by.
SHAME accuses and opposes you… GOD will and is DEFENDING you..
He will give you new clothes of righteousness… BUT you have to be
willing to let Him take off the dirty rags. NAKED AND EXPOSED….
He even has others do that for you… But they are trustworthy.
The fear of being naked or giving up the predictable and dependable
filthy rags, is holding you back from getting freedom!
You have to trust that GOD has seen it all, and KNOWS you. You may
not want to KNOW you… but if you find out WHO you are , you can see
that GOD loves you exactly the way you are… with those filthy rags
that you are hiding YOU in….
22How many times have you kept your image of yourself to avoid the fear
of GOD seeing the real you? To keep you from seeing the real you? OR
others seeing you?
The filthy rags is our HOLINESS. It is our disguise. It is our SHAME.
It is what has served us well, to cope, to have excuses, to blame…
I like the new turban.. clean… . Like when SHAME is gone, You get a
new mind… Clean!
Having a new mind, means a new perspective. Sometimes you will need
to go over the memory of shame from different angles. You may need
to speak to yourself the truth from a healthy mother’s heart. You may
need to speak from a healthy father’s heart. You might need to bring in
the heart of God the Father, or Jesus… You may need the Holy Spirit
to come with comfort. There is almost always a place for you to see lies
and to expose misunderstanding. You may need to take responsibility
for your part. Ask forgiveness …. release yourself….
As you speak to yourself, comforting, giving truth… you will feel a
strengthening in your inner being.
Now, Forgive God… Always look for how you judged God… Ask Him to
show you. Repair the break in your relationship with Him. Allow trust to
Ask GOD what He thinks of you. He has only GOOD for you.
In You, O Lord, I put my trust;
Let me never be ashamed;
Deliver me in Your righteousness.
2 Bow down Your ear to me,
Deliver me speedily;
Be my rock of refuge,
A fortress of defense to save me.
3 For You are my rock and my fortress;
Therefore, for Your name’s sake,
23Lead me and guide me.
4 Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me,
For You are my strength.
5 Into Your hand I commit my spirit;
You have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.
6 I have hated those who regard useless idols;
But I trust in the Lord.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy,
For You have considered my trouble;
You have known my soul in adversities,
8 And have not shut me up into the hand of the enemy;
You have set my feet in a wide place.
9 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble;
My eye wastes away with grief,
Yes, my soul and my body!
10 For my life is spent with grief,
And my years with sighing;
My strength fails because of my iniquity,
And my bones waste away.
11 I am a reproach among all my enemies,
But especially among my neighbors,
And am repulsive to my acquaintances;
Those who see me outside flee from me.
12 I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind;
I am like a broken vessel.
13 For I hear the slander of many;
Fear is on every side;
While they take counsel together against me,
They scheme to take away my life.
14 But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in Your hand;
Deliver me from the hand of my enemies,
And from those who persecute me.
16 Make Your face shine upon Your servant;
Save me for Your mercies’ sake.
17 Do not let me be ashamed, O Lord, for I have called upon You;
Let the wicked be ashamed;
Let them be silent in the grave.
18 Let the lying lips be put to silence,
Which speak insolent things proudly and contemptuously against the
19 Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
24Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!
20 You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence
From the plots of man;
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion
From the strife of tongues.
21 Blessed be the Lord,
For He has shown me His marvelous kindness in a strong city!
22 For I said in my haste,
“I am cut off from before Your eyes”;
Nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications
When I cried out to You.
23 Oh, love the Lord, all you His saints!
For the Lord preserves the faithful,
And fully repays the proud person.
24 Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.
This story of the SINFUL woman reminds me of what SHAME is trying
to do, but of the victory of Trust!
A Sinful Woman Forgiven
36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to
the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the
city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the
Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood
at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her
tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet
and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who
had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He
were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is
touching Him, for she is a sinner.”
40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to
So he said, “Teacher, say it.”
2541 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five
hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with
which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of
them will love him more?”
43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”
And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then He turned to the
woman and said to Simon,“Do you see this woman? I entered your house;
you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her
tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss,
but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46
You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet
with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are
forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves
48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to
themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
They wanted to point out WHAT she did, and asked Him to reject
WHO she was… He pointed out WHAT she did (right) and ACCEPTED
WHO she was… FORGAVE her mistakes.. GAVE her peace. Making
mistakes gives us the opportunity to LOVE more… Appreciate
Forgiveness and Grace. Staying in Shame would rob you of both..
You would stay away from CHRIST.. Your savior … you would believe
others instead of HIM , the True Judge…
Most importantly, you would give up the chance to serve HIM. To be
the one believing HIM and accepting HIM. Treating Him like a King,
who out of His storehouse of riches, loves us. Not like the unforgiving
humans we compare Him with.
My daughter, Megan, wrote this poem about this passage……
On the floor I lay, broken in two
I am afraid to touch the pieces,
to look at it.
26One half Spirit,
one half Flesh,
one’s life, one’s death.
Born into the prison of Flesh I choose it, like a leech it chooses me.
As I lay in Flesh I loath the Spirit,
plotting to kill It, for no reason other than to rid my life of It.
As I lay broken in two, afraid to touch the Spirit, choosing my Flesh,
The voice of Spirit’s Father interrupts my chaos.
He calls me by name and says
“I formed your spirit with the palms of my hands, I spoke over it and said it
His words start to break through my prison walls of twisted fleshly
Father I am sorry, only You are good and whatever You say is good, will
Before I can take another breath, His Son is before me.
His eyes watch my flesh, it’s face twisted in rage screams at Him on the
cross, saying “Your death is not good enough, You can’t be God, I want to
My spirit stands quietly behind my screaming flesh, untouched by the hate,
eyes fixed on His gaze.
On the floor I sob from the depths of my heart, shattered.
I weep with all the love I have for the Son.
I cry for what I have done.
I see Him and all of who He is,
I feel grief beyond grief.
I am stripped bare to see I am the worst of sinners,
I now see the pure evil of my flesh, this prison I was born in.
Broken to my knees, tears flowing freely, heart bowed low,
I watch as He sees all my wretchedness and keeps on dying for me
My heart is pierced by His love.
I hear the words fall from His lips, “Father forgive them, they know not what
Again I weep, as I realize those words spoken so long ago were spoken for
27A plea from the Son that echoed through the ages and landed upon my
Face on the floor I ask Him, “how can this flesh die?”
I see Him smile as He says the words He has been waiting for me to hear.
“Come up on the Cross with Me.”
There was such intimacy in His invitation, so much joy.
A yearning fills me to be with Him.
I in my flesh lay down on the cross with Him.
I feel His arms come around me and absorb my flesh, I am washed clean
by pure love.
I am deep in the heart and being of the Son.
There is no pain in the death because I am with Him.
To die, with the Son is the wedding, joining with Him in the intimacy.
I am forever changed.
My Spirit and the Father stand arms around each other, watching.
“It is finished.”
I want to say, “ It is Finished!” Because it is~!
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them
said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So
he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger
son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his
possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose
a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went
and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields
to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods
that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired
servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will
arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against
heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son.
Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way
off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck
and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against
heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
2822 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring[a] out the best robe and put it
on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the
fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son
was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be
If the son would have stayed in SHAME , he would not have come back
to find out how much his father loved him. If he would have believed
the voices, of others, religion, his own, or his brothers… He would have
never found out the GREAT love his father had for him. He would have
stayed in his filthy rags and missed the robes of righteousness.
His older brother in the rest of the verses, never trusts his father.
Relies on his own righteousness and determines that his father is
God’s Everlasting Love
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be
against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for
us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall
bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he
who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is
even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who
shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or
persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”[a]
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who
loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor
principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor
height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us
from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
What voice do you believe? The voice of your Beloved calls… Come away
29Put this scriptures on your walls, write them on the tablets of your
NO SHAME ALLOWED…. on every door , in every room of your heart.
The Holiness that GOD wants to give you is MERCY TRIUMPHS over
Judgment. Give yourself MERCY and others… GIVE and don’t hold back
There is a robe that is yours… it is HIS righteousness.. When I study
robes… there was a lot to teach on… so just a few points here.
In Numbers 15:37-39
Tassels on Garments
37 Again the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 38 “Speak to the children of Israel:
Tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their
generations, and to put a blue thread in the tassels of the corners. 39 And
you shall have the tassel, that you may look upon it and remember all the
commandments of the Lord and do them, and that you may not follow the
harlotry to which your own heart and your own eyes are inclined,
Blue was a color of great expense to dye your threads. Royalty and
Wealth. Speaks of value… Heritage… to all your generations… Teach
your kids the VALUE of their Beings…. SOULS… THE BLOOD OF
CHRIST. NO SHAME…. Looking at the tassels…. KEEP HIS WORD….
KEEP OBEYING HIM.. OBEY in Greek means to listen to attentively
and agree with!
AGREE you are loved and holy… you are perfect… You have no flaws..
NO lack… Nothing that will separate you from the love of GOD. ALL
else is a lie.
The tradition is that the people men and woman made these tassels.
30They also added the blue thread to the prayer shawls. The tassels are
a sign of your heritage to your father’s holiness. They would take some
of the tread from their father’s tassels and weave it into theirs.
Ruth was covered in the garment of Boaz. Kinsmen Redeemer. It is
protection. Provision. Covering her shame of not belonging. Being
different. Not enough.
1 Samuel 24:4-10
4 Then the men of David said to him, “This is the day of which the Lord said
to you, ‘Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hand, that you may do to
him as it seems good to you.’” And David arose and secretly cut off a corner
of Saul’s robe. 5 Now it happened afterward that David’s heart troubled him
because he had cut Saul’s robe. 6 And he said to his men, “The Lord forbid
that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out
my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord.” 7 So David
restrained his servants with these words, and did not allow them to rise
against Saul. And Saul got up from the cave and went on his way.
8 David also arose afterward, went out of the cave, and called out to Saul,
saying, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked behind him, David stooped
with his face to the earth, and bowed down. 9 And David said to Saul: “Why
do you listen to the words of men who say, ‘Indeed David seeks your harm’?
10 Look, this day your eyes have seen that the Lord delivered you today into
my hand in the cave, and someone urged me to kill you. But my eye spared
you, and I said, ‘I will not stretch out my hand against my lord, for he is the
David cut off Saul’s corner of his garment… (tassels are on the four
corners..) and was robbing Saul’s authority.. which he repented and
gave back.. because God appoints us… SHAME disappoints us… we do
not appoint ourselves.
Mark 5:27 There was healing in Jesus’ garment. His authority over
sickness and disease.
31Your righteousness is through belief in HIM. Listening to what HE says
about you… keep asking HIM. Who does He say you are…???
He says you have Value and Worth, Authority, Healing.
OBEY… LISTEN to HIM and AGREE with what HE says!